Monday
> Not in the mood to get up
> Went to school late to meet Marian and return her CD
> Met mother and little brother
> 21:41c. Chest was rising and falling, “bouncing”, while breathing
October 10, 2007
October 8, 2007
08 October 2007
Monday
> There was no noted chest pain during the day.
> But there was difficulty of breathing.
> Accessory muscles were used. Chest has “rising and falling” character.
> (+) stridor
> There was lost of appetite, but was able to eat two cups of rice.
> (+) back pains related to wrong body mechanics/posture
October 7, 2007
Crushed
I am sad and I wonder why. I hate it when I feel this way. I feel so alone as if there is no one in my life whom I can turn to. Mommy Sheh-sheh, Ban, Neko, Zedd, Kei, Dad!! … can I have a time with you? But the question is, can I really call your name and seek help if I’m in need?
But then, although I want to seek your comfort I don’t want to show you how crushed and damaged I am. I will no longer show you the weak part of me. I am a nobody.
I’d rather stay alone so I won’t become emotionally dependent on anyone. Besides, I can’t keep anyone of you. I can’t make anyone of you stay close with me. You have your own lives. I will only show you a happy me.
Someday.. you might know what I went through. You will know that I needed you. But I didn’t call. Because I don’t want to look helpless, though I bloody am.
Why do I have to shed tears? Why do I have to go through this kind of loneliness? It’s painful.
Father in heaven… I need You.
music: Sarah Brightman – Deliver Me
07 October 2007
Sunday
>Positive chest pain/s.
>Troubled (emotionally).
>Anxious about life; struggles to justify existence.
>Anxious about school.
>Anxious about some people around.
>Prefers to have a textmate to divert self from boredom.
>Pain on R temple; 21:48. Ate chocolate minutes earlier.
>Had no dinner. No appetite.
>Just wants to sleep.
>Anxious about what to do with someone.
>Lonely.
music: Hillsong – For this Cause
